Wacky Wednesday July 29 2015

Music 

I've rediscovered music. I go through phases where I don't listen to a lot of music. I'm okay with the quiet and most of the time these days silence is its own type of pleasure. Too bad I hadn't rediscovered music a few weeks ago when I wrote my Romance Writers' Weekly Blog post on a song that has influenced my writing. For the life of me I couldn't get many tunes in my head that week! 

I like a popular song that's frequently on the radio by X Ambassadors, Renegade. On a whim I pulled out my ear buds and used my Pandora App during the day job. Ironically, it made the day go by faster and my focus on work tasks easier. I loved a lot of songs by X Ambassadors. There was a rhythm and beat that just made me feel. The writing ideas have been flowing this week that's for sure. 

Pandora is ever helpful and other artists I've given a thumbs up to include Ed Sheeran (Sons of Anarchy flashbacks on this music - what a great show), Fitz & the Tantrums, Imagine Dragon and Jasmine Thompson.

Ideas are in the embryo stage and my current work in progress got a boost from the music.

I still can't actually work on my fiction while listening to the music, but I'm happy that I can do other work while tapping my foot and moving to the rhythm. 

Photos from depositphotos.com

July 29 2015 Romance Weekly

#LoveChatWrite

Do you like to read romance novels? Wouldn't you like to know more about your favorite authors? Well you came to the right place! Join the writers of Romance Weekly as we go behind the scenes of our books and tell all..... About our writing of course! Every week we'll answer questions and after you've enjoyed the blog on this site we'll direct you to another. So come back often for a thrilling ride! Tell your friends and feel free to ask us questions in the comment box.

Welcome back this week. Make sure to check out Carrie Elks after reading the post. I know the participating authors this week are going to have some awesome blog posts. 

This week's topic comes from Tracey Gee and it is deep stuff. I almost backed out because it is so terrifying, but I didn't. 

So Tracey's topic is: As we all know, authors put real people and situations into their books. Let's look at the times we've pushed through the pain by putting bad experiences or relationships into our works whether for therapy, or just as a way to close the door. 

I think this post is difficult only because it really makes one examine their life and not necessarily the good parts, but the bad ones. The days that were filled with sorrow or worry or hurting.  

Writing is an expression of the author. It can be fluff or surface writing - something that doesn't really mean much like a cute story or a fun poem. There's nothing wrong with this type of writing and as I examined the question posed I thought that's also a way for an author to work through an emotional trauma - by avoiding it in this way. (Or it's also just plain fun. I mean I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't find it enjoyable.)

Sometimes writing is painful. Other times writing is cathartic and healing. 

I'm not sure if others who don't write on a frequent basis or at all can understand the need to get out emotions down on the page or how writing about it can heal.

I don't know either. I just know it does. 

So, how have I pushed through the pain in my life with my sword called a pen or keyboard?

I think the first time I realized the power of writing and what it could do was during a college freshman english writing assignment. I'm not really sure the exact topic of the paper we were to write. It had to be about someone in our lives written in a personal essay. I chose to write about my brother. He built me a bike from scraps and taught me to ride it. He had died in a car accident about a month before his seventeenth birthday. I was about two months away from my seventh birthday. The images and memories I had of my brother at the time of the college paper were bittersweet. I hadn't realized until writing about him how much I missed him all those years or how cheated I felt for getting less than seven to spend with him. I think until that moment in college where I forced myself to face the agony of my loss I didn't have a concept of what love he gave to me - my big brother. The agony was too much for a six year old to handle, but maybe I could face it at nineteen? I'm not sure.  

Years later, I also turned to writing to work though fertility issues when my husband and I tried for five long years to have a child. It doesn't matter what the doctors say or the advances in medical science, when you can't get pregnant when you want to (especially after years of preventing pregnancy) there are emotions that cannot be explained or expressed in a rational form. This all came out in my fiction writing. Sandra's longing in Circle of Lies for a child was a result of our struggle. When it finally happened for me - she also experienced the same joy I did. At first I thought to have Sandra become upset and worried that she was pregnant because of the plot of the story, but I couldn't. I couldn't make her sad about it. She was bursting with happiness (me too)!

When my baby came early I couldn't write about my fears and terrors. It was too raw, too overwhelming. After my almost two week hospital stay before his birthday, after 66 days in the NICU, we got to bring him home. This was an entirely different terror mixed with unspeakable joy and excitement. 

I don't write a lot about those early days in the hospital or the few months after. My boy is 21 months old and healthy and happy. Maybe a future character will help me look back on that time with different eyes. Right now I'm okay with that blank page in that regard. I'm filling in Sandra's story with the exhilarating experience of becoming a mother. It's been a dream of hers you know.   

Thanks for reading this week. I'm curious what author, Betty Bolte, has posted to the blog hop today.  See ya soon.

The Color Green

Can I move in with you?

As a child I wanted everything to be fair, as much as children perceive fairness. As and adult I want the same, too. Unfortunately, there are times when I get the short stick and whatever comes with it, as do others around me. 

When this happens more frequently than not, jealousy becomes a permanent live-in relative I can't get rid of. It takes a lot of effort to get him to  move out and stay out!

In a creative profession (it could be argued for any profession) it's easy to compare what we have to others doing the same thing. It's almost natural to be more concerned with where the grass looks greener.

My friend (frenemy), January, entered an art contest and won first place. I can't even get honorable mention. No fair! My eyes weep green tears.

Tuesday entered a short story competition and it was over the word count like mine, but I got disqualified and he didn't. No fair! Now my green face contorts with envious fangs.

Summer knitted my mother a sweater and it's all I've heard about for months. Why doesn't my mother ask me to make her some pottery? No fair! Now the monster has appeared with its snotty green nose and hairy spikes.

The monster I've become is ready to destroy all that I want.

It isn't fair when we are ignored, looked over or when rules apply only to some and not all. What we really wanted - someone else got. Ohhhh! I'm spitting mad!!!

But I had two ah-ha moments from my unwanted visitor: 

#1 How many attempts did it take the other person to win, gain attention or know when the rules can be broken? In my experience I've discovered it's a lot. Rarely, do any creative endeavors come out perfect the first time. Even professionals make mistakes. I like that I have many opportunities to learn. 

My mistakes keep me humble.

#2 It takes a lot of energy to be jealous. Actions. Thoughts. They become obsessive and all consuming. This energy isn't directed at my desires. It makes me tired, stressed and then the monster takes over. I attack myself! How awful. I'd rather use that slow build of passionate fuel to improved me, finish what I'm working on or plant a new idea seed and watch the greenery flourish.

My jealousy is a result of believing the monster when she says, "They will take all of your achievements away from you. How will you ever excel?"

The reality is "they" have nothing to do with it. My achievements are all on me. I'm in charge. 

So, I've packed jealousy's bags and kicked his butt out of my creative home. He's one relative I can't stand hanging around. Let me know if need help kicking him or her out of your house. 

Photo from depositphotos.com