In the land of make believe (whether this land is on paper, canvas, or instrument) I find that someone or something often times steals the show. It irks me. Aren’t I the creator? Aren’t I the one calling the shots and making something from nothing?
When deep in thought my fingers suddenly start to move on their own and characters direct the scene, paint lands where I didn’t want it to, and the instrument moves as though possessed. The vision in my mind is no longer my own and I get so angry it makes me stop. I’ve been known to try and force it back the way it logically should be.
What happens? It get’s worse and not better. What’s going on?
I’m finding that creativity is a force that has no qualms about disobeying me. It seems like an impossible notion because the result does come from me. The thing, the art, the experience was all mine but why does it feel as though someone else has stolen the show? It’s because there is a lack of control. For me, as I’m sure it is for many people, being able to control my life is what makes it less intimidating, less fearful. Let’s face it. There are a lot of things in life that are out of our control. When I am faced with the decision to create something in order to overcome my fears, which are vast, I have to convince myself that it will be as I say it will be.
Creativity cannot be controlled.
Creativity must be enjoyed, loved, and sought. To try and harness such a dynamic energy will always be met with failure. It has to be ridden like a leaf in the wind that swirls the leaf to ever greater highs before falling gently or sometimes violently back to the earth.
Those instances when I’m lost to the land it feels as though I’m the leaf. It is terrifying and I wrestle with a creative strength that I won’t be able to defeat. I desperately seek the comfort that keeps me safe.
Then my fingers take over. They are possessed by the deepest caverns of my soul. Creativity invades my mind and spirit and I let go. I’m flying on a wave of inspiration manifested into the essence of imagination.
I haven’t been robbed. I’ve been given a gift of such magnitude it’s impossible to describe with words. It’s a feeling of intense emotion and raw power. I have created. Something from nothing.
So go. Create. Experience.
Photos from depositphotos.com